The Ritual
by JoelTPW
Summary: Jan discovers a truth after growing up years in the church, a disturbing truth. Please R


Note: I wrote this story after being raised to go to church, please respect my opinions and give the story some thought.  
  
The Ritual  
  
Jan had realized the ritual of going to church was really to see if you could entertain yourself for the sermon, without anyone knowing that you weren't paying attention. As a child she found the colorful projects of Sunday school to be fun and something to look forward to. Church became a lot like school, as you grew up you realized it wasn't fun; it was a tedious task of life. Most of the time she would grab a handful of peppermint rounds that she would slowly dissolve in her mouth in hopes they outlasted the pastor. She didn't see the point of dressing up once a week and sitting still in uncomfortable chairs while everyone intently pretended to listen to a boring sermon. She felt obligated to go though; otherwise her parents would be "disappointed." With the stress of school and life in general, Jan didn't need a once a week guilt trip from her parents.   
  
Jan sighed as she looked around her room to see what to bring to entertain her this week. Maybe she could bring some small scraps of paper to doodle on, but that would be too obvious, she would be chastised for not paying attention. She thought of tearing out some pages of a magazine and putting them in her Bible, then she could pretend to read. Jan didn't want to ruin her magazines though.  
  
"Jan, come on we're going to be late to church," Jan's mom called from the hallway.   
  
Hopelessly Jan searched for something, anything to keep her mind preoccupied, but there was nothing in sight. Jan let a sigh of hopelessness escape as she left her room and went outside to pile in the car, like every other Sunday.  
  
Jan peered out the grimy window of her family's 1995 Toyota watching the scenery whiz by in a blur of colors. She let her mind wander, not really concentrating on anything. It was a skill only someone raised in a church could master. Over the years of preaching, before she knew she should bring something to preoccupy her mind, Jan had perfected the skill of zoning out on life.   
  
The car rolled to a stop in the gravel parking lot as Jan watched the small dirt cloud evaporate from the recently moving wheels. Jan got out of the backseat and into the dry hot morning air. She knew the car would be like a hot oven when they returned, but by that time church would be over, and it would be a full week before she had to go though the same thing again.   
  
Her dress was way to hot to wear in the heat of the summer, but Jan knew you had to dress nice, kind of like a masquerade ball. She put on a small fake smile and meekly greeted the people that actually took the time to even recognize her.  
  
The church was a small town local "Biblically based" family church. That meant it was small, and there were hardly any people there Jan's age. The congress ion was either Parents, or kids, Jan fell in-between at the age of 15. One year away from driving, maybe then she could find a church that actually had people her age, or better yet she could say she was going to church and go over to her friend Lindsey's house, but she knew that wasn't a real option Lindsey had a strict mother who would take any chance she could to rat Jan out.   
Inside Jan took a bulletin, at least she could have something to read, maybe she would take one of the short stubby pencils in the pews and color in all the vowels, it was a desperate attempt, but it was better then nothing.   
  
The service always started off with announcements, then worship, a prayer, the sermon, a few more songs and then freedom. The sermon however took up just as much time as everything else combined. True it was only a half hour sermon, and a half hour for everything else, but that hour seemed to drag on forever.   
  
"Let's bow our heads and say a word of prayer," the pastor droned on.  
  
The sermon was about to begin; Jan tried to think if every week she was here for an hour how much time of her life would be wasted at church. The average woman lasted well past 70 years. Jan decided she really didn't want to know the answer.   
  
Jan chastised herself for not waking up earlier to find something to keep her distracted. She could have at least found some tic-tacs in the hall closet. She looked down at the sermon outline in the bulletin.  
  
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Today's message: Living a real Life with God  
  
Jan didn't get past the first line before she was struck with a profound thought. How would these people know what living a real life with God would look like?   
  
Jan blinked as she slightly frowned. The more she thought about the title the more she was becoming disturbed.   
  
"To live a real relationship with God, you must be willing to be completely honest with yourself, and with God," the pastor preached.  
  
But these people weren't honest, Jan thought. They dress up and come once a week to be "religious" but the rest of the week it's just the same old story. People in the world didn't discuss honest problems, or honest religion for that matter. In fact religious discussion was a topic that most people avoided. Jan never saw anyone come up to someone and say "So how's your spiritual life, I'm having trouble with this temptation could you pray for me." America had freedom of religion, but no one ever talked about it, except on Sundays.   
  
Her family didn't ask her about spiritual things, they just dragged her to church once a week. Jan wondered if any of these people were being honest.   
  
"I know most of you are Christians, but for those of you who may not know Christ I would like to invite you to accept him as your personal savior," the preacher said.  
  
Do these people even know what it means to accept Christ as a personal savior? Why was the pastor inviting people to accept Christ, did he believe that in 30 minutes he had fully explained what it meant to accept a personal savior? Jan frowned; she became more disturbed when she saw several people come up to the pulpit for the pastor to pray for their acceptance into Christ. Wait a minute, Jan thought, do these people know that this is a life-changing question, you don't just accept a savoir after a 30-minute talk. Choosing a religion, or savior was a major step, one that took a lot of thought and time, certainly more then a 30-minute presentation of a pastor.   
  
A simple prayer to accept a savior, these people believed they had accepted a Lord over their life with a simple prayer. No time spent, no thought, just follow the words and you get an automatic pass into heaven, and if you didn't repeat after me, it was damnation forever in eternal suffering.   
  
Jan decided next week she would skip the play, screw the guilt, it was better then being a hypocrite.  



End file.
